


life saver

by ohpotato



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 21:43:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8261372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohpotato/pseuds/ohpotato
Summary: Seokmin has depression.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is a shoutout to all the people who is dealing with depression, anxiety and panic dissorders like me.
> 
> #WorldMentalHealthDay

"Tell me a secret." Says Soonyoung one chilly night, when they are laying in the floor of the practice room, drained of energy.  
Seokmin looks at him and grins. "You know I don't have secrets."  
"Oh come on" Says Soonyoung sitting up. "Something must be there."  
Seokmin looks at the ceiling and then at the older. "There is something nobody knows."  
"What is it?" Says Soonyoung plopping in his arms. He scans the younger and doesn't see the always smiling Seokmin, and suddenly he questions himself if this was a good topic to bring.  
Seokmin sighs, evading the eyes of the older. "I have some problems."  
Soonyoung doesn't understand. "Problems with what? It's your family?"  
"No. Problems with myself."  
Silence. Soonyoung ponders what the younger is talking about. When Seokmin looks at the older and see how disoriented is he speaks again.  
"I have chronic depression, hyung."  
Soonyoung opens his eyes big. "How's that?"  
"Hard. It's like there is this little person besides me, that nobody sees. And when I see that others person doesn't have it I get jealous. This person talks to me, and says things or remind me some things I don't want to remember."  
"What can of things says?" Whispers softly Soonyoung laying besides the younger.  
"That I am good for nothing. That is better to stay in bed than get up. Some days when it's really bad starts to reasoning that the world is a mess and for what should I live for. That days I feel like not living. Those are the darker days."  
Soonyoung looks at him carefully.  
"You never seems sad tho."  
"Because, you know? It's my inner demon after all. It's a fight I have to fight." Some tears threats to fall.  
"You have to ask for help Seokmin. It's not okay to feel that way." Says the older holding the other's hand.  
"I know hyung. But it's not that easy."

 

It's some weeks after that Soonyoung kind of see what the other was talking about.  
Sometimes, Seokmin is all happy and talkative, but other times he just kind off gets behind the room and just stares at nothing. His voice is broken and he swears he can see glimpses of that inner demon.  
It's some days after that the older forgets some things in the practice room when he hears muffled sounds coming from the bathroom.  
He knocks on the door. "Hello?"  
"Hyung. Don't come in. Please." Comes Seokmin's voice.  
Soonyoung doesn't obligate and enters the stall.  
Seokmin is sitting with his back in the wall and is crying and shaking. He looks to the older and hides his face in his hands.  
Soonyoung goes to him and crouchs in front. "What's wrong?" Asks softly. He reaches a hand and takes Seokmin hands in his.  
"I'm okay." Sobs hard the younger.  
"You're not. Deep breaths Seokmin, come on." Says the older.  
Seokmin tries to inhale but chokes either way and continues crying more.  
Soonyoung grabs either side of Seokmin face. "Look at me Seokmin." The other obeys slowly.  
"Now breathe deep. Inhale and exhale, come on I lknow you can."  
They continue like that fifteen solid minutes until Seokmin calms down.  
Soonyoung is sitting besides the younger and him has his head in the older shoulder.  
"I'm a mess, am I hyung?" Says Seokmin chukling.  
"No. You're not, Seokmin."  
It's a contrast, thinks Soonyoung, to see this side of Seokmin, this dark side. His heart contracts at the thought of the younger being like this alone for years.  
They go to sleep and Seokmin falls sleep at speed light with Soonyoung looking at him and wondering about everything.

 

The next week, Soonyoung decides to tell Seungcheol, who he tells him that he already knows.  
"He told me to not interfere. That he could manage it."  
"He had a panic attack, hyung."  
They kind of have a talk with Seokmin and the younger breaks down, promising to seek for help.  
A month later, Seokmin is going to a therapist. It's not much, but is the beginning, and after some sessions, he can wish for a better future. He knows he has a long path to go, with a lot of up and downs, but he is willing to go through it. His inner demon is there still, waiting to attack, but Seokmin knows he can't get rid of it, so he should learn to co-live with it.  
Life is that, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading.  
> remember you're not alone in this world and you can do it. your mind doesn't control you!!  
> also please if you know somebody or if you are going through something like this seek for help, it's really important because your mind is your own enemy at times.  
> also don't question people who has mental problems like this. they are serious and should be take care like any other disease!


End file.
